literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He shit in the fireplace
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
