I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize