He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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