When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize