Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize