I hope mine doesn't look like that
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
