nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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