I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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