its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
