I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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