I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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