There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize