Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?

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(954): View more from Florida

you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.

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(757): View more from Virginia

i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.

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(317): View more from Indiana

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?

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