? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize