New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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