we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There r osticjed everywhere
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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