Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
