Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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