I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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