It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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