that's an acceptable place to lick
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
