real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
