do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
