the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
