Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
