i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
try to milk me bitch
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