I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Why is there bacon in the couch?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
