Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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