this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
