Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize