hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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