so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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