Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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