yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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