I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
