In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
