There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
