i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
