So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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