two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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