tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
