Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
