Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
