the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
