dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
