she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
