He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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