do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
