my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize