my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
