is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
