another moral hangover. fuck.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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