oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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