I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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