I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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