I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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