Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
