Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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