just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
