The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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