dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
