I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
