i barfeds in our rink
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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