Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
